A Darkness Within
by midnightwriter1898
Summary: Can Josh get Drake to reveal a secret he's been hiding for so long?
1. The beginning

**Chapter One**

**A/N: I am posting the 1st chapter of this story only becasue I am BORED out of my mind. I have four chapters written down, but I need to type them all out. I also have writers' block (for now. I'm sure I'll think of something to write!). I know how I want the story to turn out, but all I'm coming up with is "DUH" so please bear with me. lol. I might not update that quickly. I am including the lyrics to TRUSTcompany - Downfall in each chapter except chapter two.**

**Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Drake & Josh. If I did, I would have the new episodes coming out right now! **

**And now, the story begins:**

"Hey, Drake!" Josh said cheerfully as he came into the room he shared with his brother.

"Hi, Josh." Drake replied, not looking up from the four girls he was instant-messaging.

"Don't you want to hear about what I did today?"

"Nah." Drake threw a pillow at the innocent teenager to shut him up.

"Hey!" Josh yelled as it hit him. 'It's not nice to launch missiles at unsuspecting victims."

"I don't care. Now, be quiet. I'm trying to IM Brittney, Jade, Vicky, and Esther all at the same time. And I need to be able to concentrate." Drake retorted.

"Fine. I'll be quiet now." Josh said, sitting down on his bed.

"Thank you!" Drake sighed dramatically. Josh rolled his eyes as Drake returned his attention to his computer.

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"Drake! Drake, wake up!" Josh shook Drake as the boy trembled.

**_Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me_**

"**_Drake!_**" Josh yelled, and Drake woke with a start. He shot up in his bed and looked around.

**_In the fear I fall, here it comes face to face with me_**

"What – Josh!" Drake gasped.

**_Here I stand, hold back so no one can see_**

"What's wrong, Drake."

"Oh, nothing, just a nightmare." Drake replied, laying back down and rolling over.

**_I feel these wounds, step down, step down,_**

"Do you want to talk about it?" Josh asked, going back over to his bed.

"Nah, it's ok. Thanks, Josh." Drake said, trying to calm himself down. Josh could never know what his nightmare had been about. Never.

**_Step DOWN!_**

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**_Please, please, PLEASE (okay, did you get the point yet? lol) review! I LOVE reviews and will be SOOO happy if you do!_**


	2. Emotional Mess

**Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Drake & Josh. **

The next morning, Drake and Josh were eating breakfast when Megan walked in.

"Morning, morons." She said, going over to the refrigerator.

"I'm not a moron!" Drake retorted.

"Sorry, _boob_." She smirked.

Drake didn't reply but instead continued eating his cereal.

"Come on, Drake, if you don't hurry up we're going to be late!" Josh said, drumming his fingers against the table.

"Stop it!" Drake snapped, shocking Josh.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Drake replied.

"Does it have to do with the nightmare you had last night?" Josh asked.

"Drake had a nightmare last night?" Megan watched Drake carefully, seeming to be lost in thought.

"Yes. But I don't know what it's about." Josh said.

"I do." Megan muttered, so quietly Josh barely even heard her.

"Really?"

"Umm, no." Megan replied, seeing Drake send her a don't-you-dare look.

Josh looked at the two siblings. Some shared thought seemed to pass between them.

"Uh, guys, what's going on?" Josh questioned uncertainly, watching Drake and Megan.

"Nothing!" They both replied quickly, exchanging glances.

Josh watched them, not believing what they said. Suddenly he noticed tears in Megan's eyes, and she rushed forwards into Drake's arms.

"Ok, Drake, Megan, what's wrong?" Josh demanded as Megan sobbed.

"Umm… this is the day that Megan's, uh, pet rabbit died?" Drake said quickly, getting up and rushing out of the kitchen. Josh stared after them in disbelief. They were hiding something, and he'd find out what it was.

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Drake avoided Josh the whole day at school. While Josh ate lunch with his girlfriend, Mindy, Drake sat at the opposite end of the cafeteria with Scottie and Trevor.

"Help me, Mindy! Drake won't talk to me. He and Megan were acting all weird, and then today Megan started crying, and last night Drake had a nightmare but wouldn't tell me what it was about, and oh, I'm confused!" Josh finished, not sure how to go on.

"I don't know. If Megan hadn't been acting strange, I wouldn't even care. It's not like Drake's abnormal behavior could get any weirder…" Mindy replied, leaning closer, but trailed off as she realized her words weren't helping Josh at the moment.

"Come on, Mindy." He pleaded.

"Ok. I can't read Drake and Megan's minds, as much as you might want me to. I don't know what's going on between them, but it has to be something from before your dad married Audrey, because both Drake and Megan know about it. So I'd suggest asking them." She shrugged and sat back in her seat.

"Yeah… _yeah_!" Josh nodded repeatedly. "But how do I know what's wrong if Drake's avoiding me?"

"Ask Megan."

"But you know she won't tell me."

"I'll talk to her later and try to figure it out." Mindy suggested.

"Thanks, Mindy! You're the best!" Josh smiled at her.


	3. I Can't Tell You

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Drake & Josh. **

**A/N: Wow, I can write really depressing stuff! ScArY! lol.**

Drake sat on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Josh was working at the Premiere, and Audrey and Walter were out grocery-shopping. Megan was sitting in her room, legs crossed, looking at a photograph that had been taken four years ago.

Drake wrapped the covers around himself and shivered.

**_(Am I) Breaking down?_**

Suddenly there was a knock at his door.

"Drake? Can I come in?" Megan's voice came through the door.

**_Can I break away?_**

"Sure." He replied.

"Are you thinking about…?" Megan broke off as she saw Drake's face. Drake turned his head to look at her, and in that instant a memory flashed through both their heads. Suddenly Megan began to cry.

**_Push me away, make me fall,_**

"Oh, Drake…" She muttered, hugging her brother. Drake didn't reply – he just wrapped his arms around Megan and held her tight.

_**Just to see, another side of me**_

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"Drake, we have to talk." Josh said as he shrugged off his jacket.

"About what?" Drake asked, glancing around nervously.

"About the nightmare you had. And how you and Megan were acting yesterday. And how you avoided me all day at school."

"There's nothing to talk about." Drake replied simply, before Josh could say anything else.

"There is! Drake, you're hiding something from me!" Josh started at Drake.

"I'm not!" Drake defended immediately.

"Why were Megan and you acting all weird?" Josh asked.

_**Push me away, you can see,**_

"Umm… look, Josh I…" Drake stuttered, and then stopped talking all together.

"What?"

"Josh, really, please don't do this to me. I can't tell you – at least not right now." Drake begged.

Josh stared at Drake in disbelief. "We're brothers. We should be able to tell each other everything. But I guess that doesn't mean anything to you." He said eventually, leaving the room.

"Josh…!" Drake called after his brother's back, but he didn't come back.

_**What I see, the other side of me.**_


	4. Another Nightmare

**Chapter Four**

"Josh!" Drake's hurt expression made Josh feel guilty. He'd been avoiding his brother all of the week.

"What?" Josh spun around.

"Josh… I'm sorry. It's just I can't talk about it right now. Really, I just can't. It's too hard. Can you understand? Please?" Drake pleaded. Josh's expression softened a bit.

**_Fall back on me, and I'll be the strength I need_**

"I'm sorry I blew up on you. It's just… knowing you're keeping something from me is hard." He replied. Drake sighed.

"I want to tell you… I want you to know everything. But it's too complicated. I don't think I can handle telling you everything right now."

**_To save me now, just come face to face with me_**

"It's okay, brother. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here." Josh smiled, hugging his brother.

* * *

"Drake!" Josh watched his brother nervously. Drake was tossing and turning in his bed, yelling "no!" over and over again.

"Josh! Help! He's going to get me!" Drake grabbed onto Josh's shoulders and shook him.

"Drake! You're having another nightmare! No one's going to get you!" Josh said urgently. Drake blinked and seemed to realize he was in his bed. He calmed down and let go of Josh.

**_Stay in place, you'll be the first to see, me heal these wounds_**

"Sorry." He said.

"Drake, I understand it being hard to tell me, but you have to." Josh searched his brother's brown eyes.

"I… I _can't_." Drake's voice cracked and the boy broke down sobbing.

**_Step down, step down, step down, step DOWN!_**

"Drake, please, you have to tell me what's going on!" Josh pushed.

"No." Drake suddenly sat up and moved away from his brother. "If you don't understand, you never will. That's why I can't tell anyone. Only Megan knows. I haven't even told Mom and Dad. And the only reason Megan knows is because she saw him. If she hadn't, I'd be the only one who knew what my father was really like."


	5. The Flashback Dream

**Chapter Five**

**A/N: Bold, _slanted _letters indicate Drake's dream. **

**Once I get 5 reviews, I'll post the sixth chapter. hee hee, I have to keep myself entertained! lol**

Drake's eyes widened with horror when he realized what he'd said.

"Drake… what are you talking about? I know your mom doesn't say much about your dad, but I figured that your mom and dad probably didn't just get along." Josh said after a moment. "What did he do, Drake?"

**_I'm not breaking down; Can I break away?_**

"It doesn't matter. That's in the past." Drake replied, turning off the light and laying back down in bed. "Go to sleep, Josh."

"No! Drake…" Josh began, but then he realized Drake had already fallen asleep. Oh well. He'd get more answers from Drake in the morning.

Drake lay in silence, thinking about his father. _If only mom knew what happened. But she never will. She can't._

**_Push me away, make me fall,_**

Drake finally fell asleep.

**_"Drake, Drake, come here, I need to show you something." Five year-old Megan whispered in Drake's ear. _**

"_**Sure." Drake said, following her to her room.**_

"_**Look at the TV. As you know, I have hidden mini-cameras hidden in every room. They've always been useful before. I'm glad I put them there. What's Daddy doing, Drake?" Drake looked at Megan's TV and saw his father and another man talking. A briefcase was lying open on the table, revealing money. **What in the world? **Drake wondered, curiously watching the two men. **_

_**"If you don't do this, I'll kill you and your family." The man said, pulling a gun out of his pocket. **_

_**"Okay, okay, I'll do it!" Jared Parker quickly held up his hands. **_

_**"You'd better. Or else." The man replied, putting the gun back down. The man began to put his things in his briefcase. Once the man was gone, Drake ran to his father. **_

_**"Daddy, why was that man saying he was going to kill you?"**_

_**"What do you mean?" Jared Parker asked. **_

_**"I saw you and another man talking. Daddy, he had a gun and he said he was going to kill you! **_

_**Suddenly, without warning, his father backhanded him. **_

_**"Oww!" Drake wailed. His father had never slapped him before. **_

_**Jared pushed him to the floor.**_

"_**I've got to leave now. But I promise you, if you ever tell anyone about this I'll kill you. I promise." Jared whispered in his ear. With that he left, leaving a terrified ten-year-old Drake lying on the floor.**_

"Why?" Drake suddenly shouted.

**_Just to see, another side of me_**

"Drake! What's wrong?" Josh was suddenly by his brother's side.

Megan suddenly ran in. "What happened? Why was Drake yelling? Did the water balloons pop?"

"What water balloons?" Josh asked in confusion.

"Uhh, nothing. Anyway, what's going on?"

"Drake's having another bad dream." Josh said, waking his brother up"Drake, you've got to tell Josh." Megan climbed up into Drake's bed and sat in his lap.

**_Push me away, you can see,_**

"It wouldn't be safe."

"No, you haven't seen Daddy in years, and Josh needs to know, Drake. He's part of our family now too."

"I can't tell him."

"Then I will."

"Megan, no –" Drake began, but Megan cut him off.

"He's having nightmares about what happened the day Daddy left." Megan explained to Josh.

"What about it?" Josh asked. Megan glanced at Drake before continuing.

Megan quickly explained everything to Josh. When she finished, they all sat quietly, deep into their own thought.

**_What I see, the other side of me._**

"Wow." Was all Josh said.

"Yeah." Megan replied.

"Had your dad ever smacked you before that?" Josh asked Drake. Drake shook his head.

"Then _why _did he hurt you?"

"I don't know." Drake lied.

_Oh well, _he thought. _It doesn't matter. He doesn't need to know. That was in the past._

Little did he know how soon his past would be the present.

**_GO!_**


	6. Phone Call

**Chapter Six**

The next day, Drake was stretched out on the sofa, watching T.V. Josh was sitting next to him, and Megan was up in her room, watching the two brothers through her mini-camera when Drake's cell phone rang. Megan watched curiously as he answered it.

"Hello?" He asked, and then froze. Megan squinted; wanting to be sure she was seeing things clearly.

Drake dropped the phone, and Josh quickly picked it up.

**_Fall, can I break away?_**

"Hello, who's speaking?" Josh asked into the phone. He glanced at Drake with a look of confusion. No one had answered back, but the line had gone dead.

**_Push me away, make me fall,_**

"Who was that, Drake?" He questioned.

"Him." The single word made Megan get up and run downstairs.

**_Just to see another side of me_**

"Drake! Was it really him?" She gasped. Drake nodded.

"But… but… what did he say?" Josh asked.

"Nothing." Drake said.

**_Push me away, you can see,_**

"So, your father calls, says nothing to you, and yet you know it's him?"

"Uhh huh." Drake mumbled.

Josh sighed. It was gonna be tough getting Drake to tell him the truth. But at least they had made a little progress.

_**What I see, the other side of me.**_


	7. Deal With It Yourself

**Chapter Seven**

"Okay, why did you start having nightmares about your dad all of the sudden? I mean, it's been seven years since that happened!" Josh stated.

**_No one can see anything on the other side of me,_**

"He called me last week."

"What? And you didn't tell anyone?"

**_I walk, I crawl, loosing everything and waiting for the downfall_**

"Megan knew," Drake said, pointing at his little sister, "But that's only because I was driving home when he called, and she had put a listening device in my car."

"Why did you put a listening device in Drake's car?" Josh asked Megan.

"Because I wanted to prove that Drake talks to himself when he's alone! And the rest of the story is none of your beesguts!" She retorted. Drake and Josh recoiled at her tone.

"O-o-o ka-ay." They both stuttered nervously. Megan gave them a satisfied smile.

"_Anyway_, what did your dad say to you?"

**_No one can see everything on the other side of me_**

"I can't remember what he said. I don't think he even said anything."

**_I walk, I crawl, loosing everything on the downfall_**

"_Okay_… well… if you don't want to tell me, then you can deal with your father by yourself." Josh hissed, getting up and walking away.

_**Down, Fall!**_


	8. A Knock On The Door

**Chapter Eight**

"No! Josh, please let's not fight again!" Drake suddenly shouted, standing up. Josh stopped.

"Are you going to tell me the truth?" He asked.

Drake took a deep breath. "Yes." He muttered quietly, forcing the word out. The brothers sat back down.

**_Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me_**

"I'm sorry I've been so difficult, Josh. It's just… I was kind of… _afraid _to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because of what my father said to me when he left. Megan didn't tell you, did she?"

"No… I don't remember her saying anything about it. What did he say?"

"He said: 'I promise you, if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll kill you. I promise.' Those were the last words he said to me."

_**In the fear I fall, here it comes face-to-face with me,**_

"How horrible."

"Yeah... you know, all this depressing stuff is so… depressing!"

"Don't I know!" Josh said. "I've had to deal with you twenty-four seven!"

"Sorry. I was just really down, thinking about my dad. I mean, my dad never even _spanked _me before, so I didn't know why he hit me. And I still haven't figured out who that man was… all I know is that Dad must have done what he wanted because he hasn't tried to kill us… _yet_." Drake sighed.

_**Here I stand, hold back so no one can see,**_

"Drake, it was the past, man. You've got to let it go. I'm sure your dad's far away by now. And he's not going to try to harm you just because you told me. Well, technically, Megan did, but, you know…"

"Yeah. I guess you've got a point. I was basically dwelling on the past, as if it's gonna harm me! Ha!"

_**I feel these wounds, step down, step down,**_

Suddenly there was a knock on the front door.

"I wonder who that could be?" Drake questioned. "I'll get it." He got off of the couch and opened the door.

"Long time no see, Drake." A familiar voice said.

_**Step down!**_


	9. Explaining

**Chapter Nine**

"Dad." Drake whispered, taking a step backwards, trying to get away from the man and back to Josh. Suddenly, Josh was beside him.

"Drake, Drake, are you okay?" He asked, looking worried. Drake shook himself.

_**Fall back on me, and I'll be the strength I need.** _

"Yeah, I'm fine. Dad, what are you doing here?"

"Dad? Wait, Drake, is this…" Josh trailed off, his eyes widening.

Drake nodded. Josh stepped protectively in front of Drake.

"I don't care who you are, this is my family now, and you're not gonna hurt any of them."

"I'm not here to hurt anyone." Jared said.

_**To save me now, just come face-to-face with me**_

"Then why are you here after all this time?" Drake asked. "I mean, it's been seven years!"

"That's why I'm here. I need to explain some things. I can't be a part of your lives anymore, but I do need you to understand why. And I need to apologize for what I did the last day I saw you. I should have never hit you. I can't explain why, I just was wrong."

"Why did you threaten me?"

"I know it doesn't make sense, but it was to protect you."

"Protect me?"

_**Stay in place, you'll be the first to see, me heal these wounds,** _

"Yes. There was a lot going on that I couldn't explain at the time, and I can't really get into a whole lot, but I can explain a little now. No one must know I am here, though. I know this is too much to put on you, but you can't even tell your mother. I have to explain why all this has happened."

Megan entered the room cautiously.

"Megs! You've gotten so big!" Jared exclaimed.

"Dad! Why are you here?"

"I just needed to clear up some things with you kids."

"What about Mom? Why can't Mom know?"

"Mom has moved on with her life. She's married a good man. I don't need to bring up the past for them. She's moved on and she's doing well. In fact, you all are."

"How do you know that?"

"Just because you don't know where I have been, doesn't mean that I haven't kept up with you and your family."

"Well that's not fair! It's not fair that you haven't kept in contact with us! If you knew where we have been all this time, it's your responsibility as a father to keep in touch with your family." Megan burst out.

"I really wanted to. I have always wanted to this whole time. But I made mistakes after your mother and I got divorced and I didn't want you guys to pay for them. I had no choice but to stay away. In fact, I'm risking even being here, but I have taken precautions and have to do this.

"You guys knew I worked at a software company; what you didn't know was that our company was working with the United States government. We were designing weapons, one in particular I was working on was a remote control bomb in the shape of a mouse that could easily get into places that people never could. An enemy agent somehow found out. There was an apparent spy within our company. I was kidnapped and told that if I didn't sneak the plans out of the company, my family and I would be killed. They were going to compensate me for my treachery. I agreed, but I also contacted our government to let them know. I was told I had to go along with the plan and meet this person. The last day I saw you, the man that you saw was involved with the people wanting to buy the plans. He was bringing a down-payment. I was to meet someone else later that day. When the operation was over, I was put into the witness protection agency, and told I could never have any contact with my family again. This has been very difficult for me, as I know it has been for you, especially not understanding. In fact, it's probably been harder for you. I have been fortunate enough to have people keeping me updated and they have helped me worked this day out. I can't stay any longer. They've only given me a few minutes for everyone's safety, but I needed you to know. I needed you to understand."

Drake and Megan sat there in tears. All this time they'd thought their father hadn't loved them. Now they knew that he had done all this for them.

Josh couldn't take it anymore. He burst out "I think we all need a hug!" as he grabbed all three of them. He then backed away and let Drake, Megan, and their father enjoy their last moment they had together.

_**Step down, step down, step down, down.**_


	10. At Last

**Chapter Ten**

**_A/N: I am so, so, SO sorry I haven't updated in so long! (I also want to thank you for not flaming me!) And I'm also so sorry about the shortness of this chapter, I didn't really know what else to say. Also, thank you to Hollywoodwalkof-fame, JackSue4ever, wordsofjade, jhhhhjfjk89, tpfang56, Glykera, Ruler of all that is Evil, purple4candy, trinity4888, browneyedprincess, Here We Go Againx3, Shadow315, Hershey's, slayya, blazingfire03, and mikeschinchillagirl for reviewing! Hope you all enjoyed it!_**

**_

* * *

_**

Megan, Drake, and Josh sat for what seemed like hours after Jared left. Megan and Drake felt relief they hadn't felt since Jared had left them, seven years ago. They felt sad yet, knowing that their father loved them, they knew that they would be okay. Drake would not have anymore bad dreams. Josh would not have to worry about Drake, and Megan could go on spying on her brothers. Joy could return to their home.


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